Parents Share their Heartbreak to Stop Drug Use

On a cold, wet June evening, two parents shared their broken hearts with a group of parents, students and government officials in the hopes that their tragedy will not become another parent's nightmare.

"My daughter, Natalie, had everything to live for. Look at her picture. It was taken the night of her senior prom. Does she look like a kid suffering from a heroin addiction?" said Victor Ciappa, as he pointed to his daughter's picture on an easel next to the podium. "Well, she was, and eight days after this picture was taken, on my birthday, I found her lying face down on a couch dead."

His wife, Doreen, was just as direct with the crowd. "We as parents fall into the 'not my child' spell, especially if they are doing everything right. Our daughter was a cheerleader and an honor student who never gave us any trouble. It was easy for that spell to get tighter and tighter. But in the end, it was our child that died from a heroin overdose. And if happened to us, it could happen to you," she said.

The Ciappa's heartbreaking story is how the Town of Islip's Heroin & Gang Awareness Educational Seminar at Connetquot's High School began Wednesday evening, June 9.

The Massapequa couple told the story of their daughter's rapid decline into drug addiction that resulted in her death at the age of 18 in June 2008.

After an introduction by Town Councilwoman Trish Bergin Weichbrodt and opening remarks by Town Supervisor Phil Nolan, the crowd of approximately 150 parents and students listened to the bereaved parents tell their sad, frightening story. "Drug use on Long Island is rampant. If we do not try to stop what is happening then we are negligent," Nolan said. He also credited Weichbrodt for her work on the drug problem facing Long Island. She became involved after receiving her first letter as a councilwoman from Connetquot High School student Emily McGowan, who asked for help to solve the growing heroin problems. McGowan was presented with a Certificate of Outstanding Achievement from Weichbrodt, Nolan, and other board members before the seminar began.

The drug portion of the seminar also featured speeches by Drug Enforcement Agent Charlie Bernard and Jeffrey Reynolds of LICADD (Long Island Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence). "I once interviewed a teenage drug addict who told me that nobody ever told her that heroin is bad for you. Well, I am here tonight so no one else can use this excuse or this crutch for the rest of their lives. The 9,000 pound elephant in the room on Long Island these days is drug abuse. Heroin is cheap to buy and many dealers are lacing marijuana cigarettes with heroin but not telling the kids who buy them, so even marijuana use can lead to heroin addiction," Bernard said, explaining to the crowd how most of the robberies, burglaries and other crimes on Long Island stem from drug abuse.

"Parents come into my office with a baby blanket and tell me 'I never imagined I'd be sitting in your office telling you the girl I brought home from the hospital in this blanket is addicted to heroin,'" Reynolds said.

He told the crowd that parents are the biggest influences on their children, and that most drug addicts begin their addiction with alcohol sampled right in their own homes. He urged parents to set the examples not to let them drink in the house or to keep prescription pills in the house, either. "Kids are taking painkillers from their parent's medicine cabinets to stop the pain that they are feeling. But guess what? Adolescence is painful. Children need you. They need face time with their parents. Eat dinner with them. It communicates your values and gives you insight into what's going on with your kids," he said.

The gang violence portion of the seminar featured Sgt. David Dougherty of the Fifth Precinct. He discussed the different gangs that are on the island, the colors they wear and the type of graffiti that is used to start violence between rival gangs. "Graffiti is often used by gangs to mark their territory, to announce their presence and to denounce rival gangs. If you see graffiti, report it to the police immediately," he said.